Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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