i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
