Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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