just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she peed on how many people?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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