I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
