can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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