We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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