so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
