im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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