he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
