South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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