I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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