Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
