I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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