When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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