A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
