I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
