that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
