I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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