i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
