tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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