My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
