does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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