ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
