I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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