my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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