you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
