I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
