Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
