If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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