Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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