He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Enjoy the penises
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
