you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
