She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need to calm my uterus...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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