He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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