This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
