before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize