I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize