And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize