Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
