I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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