Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I party with great urgency now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
