I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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