remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
id be glad to
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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