I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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