i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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