Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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