I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
