Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
