i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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