He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
