i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
