omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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