just come out here and I will go home with you...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
