I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
