So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
