Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize