If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
