just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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