I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
