Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
