do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
