the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
