with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
