I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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