I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
